Beautiful You

There could never be a more beautiful you

Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through

You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do

So there could never be a more beautiful you

-----Jonny Diaz-----

One day I will believe these words.
One day I will be able to like myself like I am supposed to.
Why can't I now you ask, I wish I knew the answer.
There are so many things I wish I could change, maybe that would make me more likeable.
I am surrounded by beautiful friends, why can't I just be like them?
I would love to be as pretty and beautiful as them. I stick out like a sore thumb sometimes.
But I am different, I am me and there is nothing I can do to change that.
Some of these people feel as though they need someone else to complete them.
Do they really love themselves then?
Do they need someone to tell them how pretty they are?
Do they even believe it themselves?
I had somebody, and he told me I was beautiful all the time. But he expected things out of me that I wouldn't do. There is to much responsibility to doing that and I'm not ready. I have morals and will continue to live up to them.
Did he tell me that just to make me do things?
Did he really think I was beautiful?
I could sit here and think about things like this all night, or I could just accept the fact that I am who I am.
I was made in God's liking and by His creation I look and act and feel the way I do.
To not like myself would be to not like what He has done.
We were created to fill a purpose and even though we may not know what it is at the moment, it is out there somewhere.
But even though I know these things, in the back of my mind I am still the insecure little girl I always have been that can't seem to love herself even though many people tell her.
I have been through alot in the past that made me doubt myself and everything I am.
I wondered what people would do if I wasn't here anymore, would they even miss me?
Maybe someday I will be able to live up to my potential and see myself like I am supposed to...that I was meant to.
People knock me down everyday and they don't realize how bad it hurts me, even though I don't let it show. I am not a brick wall where things just bounce off.
I am just paper and every little thing just rips right through.
Inside I'm just the little girl who just wants to be loved...who can't seem to hate even though it's a reality.
Some days I just want to be beautiful.
Everyday I just want to be loved.
 
*Amanda*