All of a sudden they all started coming to the surface all at once and I can't seem to handle them at all. My worst one is I feel so needy all the time. I always like to have constant contact with people either by calling or texting and I get extremely upset when I never hear back from people. I understand that they are busy and can't get a chance to get back to me, but it always scares me either way. I feel like they don't want to talk to me for some reason and then I rack my brain to find out the reason why that is...why I'm not good enough for them to talk to...where I went wrong.
I'm sure this is annoying and I can't help it. I used to never be this way until I met certain people and now I can't seem to stop doing it. I don't know maybe I'm just scared that they are going to walk out of my life and I know I can't take that again. I already lost somebody I thought would never leave and when he did, it was the hardest thing our family had to go through and now he doesn't even acknowledge my existance, which is totally alright with me but it still hurts alot....to see him everyday and know in your heart that he doesn't want anything to do with you....also makes you question where you went wrong or why you're not good enough.
I seem to be asking myself those questions alot lately and I wish I could find the answer and just fix it...that way I won't have anybody leave me again. It just scares me when people don't answer me back....and I don't want to be this way because I have never in my entire life been this needy before and I hate it....I just miss them so much and I would hate for them to walk out of my life and I don't get to see them at all the way it is.....and I don't know maybe I just wish they could know this themselves because I'm not trying to be this way. It just seems like I'm not asking for that much you know...a little phone call or text here and there so I know they haven't forgotten about me.....is that to much to ask for?
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